“The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? …Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”
— Matthew 19:3-9
“ Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.”
— Matthew 1:18-19
Jesus’ teaching on divorce and re-marriage is as difficult to hear in modern times as it was for the Pharisees of old. If you look on social media at all you will find the new term “starter husband.” We have enshrined into law the concept of “no-fault divorce” which means for us in America, yes, it is “lawful” to put away our spouse for every cause or no cause whatsoever.
The incarnation narrative actually gives us the exact scenario in which Jesus says it is lawful to put away a spouse and marry someone else – fornication. Under the Mosaic law, the punishment for adultery is death for both parties: “And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.”
The Annunciation Artemesia Gentileschi
However, also under the Mosaic law, there can be no capital punishment without two or three witnesses to establish the matter (Deuteronomy 17:6). That is why there exists the law of jealousy (Numbers 5:12-31) and the bill of divorcement:
“When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife.” Deuteronomy 24:1-2
Because there is a clear protocol in the Law for both proven and suspected adultery, the uncleanness spoken of here cannot possibly mean actual fornication or adultery. The aim of this ordinance is to protect women, who have no legal means to acquire income and property, from ungodly, unregenerate men. Permitting women to be divorced and re-married is only allowed to limit the number of beggars and prostitutes in Old Covenant Israel. That is what Jesus means by, “because of the hardness of your hearts” Moses suffered you to put them away...
Now in the case of Joseph we see both the power of regeneration on the human heart and the historical accuracy of the Bible. Mary, being espoused to Joseph, was considered covenantally married to Joseph already, and the scripture refers to Joseph as her husband in Matthew 1:19.
Ordinarily, if a betrothed woman was found pregnant who had not yet performed the wedding ceremony and gone to her husband’s home, it would be clear evidence of adultery. Adultery was a capital offense under the Mosaic law, but the Pharisees were not permitted to put anyone to death without Roman judicial process (John 18:31) Luke 2:1 tells us that Joseph and Mary were living under the rule of Caesar Augustus, who brought in economic and social reforms to encourage marriage and family-making. Adultery was a crime under Roman law, the punishment for women being divorce, fines, and “demotion in social status” — which fits perfectly with what the scripture calls, “a public example.”
But notice what the scripture says about Joseph. “being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example.” A just man is one who has been justified by God and who has been converted. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy1. Jesus is very clear throughout the gospels that forgiven people must forgive one another (Matthew 18:22-35, Matthew 5:17). So while Joseph had the legal right to exact greater punishment against Mary, his regenerated heart eschews it, and by God’s intercession for her he becomes the adoptive father of the Lord.
God likens Israel’s rampant idolatry in the Old Testament to adultery, and yet he does not put away His elect. Yes divorce is allowed in the case of adultery, but it isn’t commanded. Christians should fight for their marriages and if divorce is the only option, then it is clear that we should still be merciful to one another when it pertains to things like alimony and child custody. Lest anyone accuse me of legalism, let’s also end on the words of Paul,
“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband. But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
— 1st Corinthians 7:11-12
Scriptures
1Matt 5:17
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