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How to Win Friends and Influence People According to the Bible

Christianity is indeed an educational endeavor and like anything it involves some degree of studying to gain a comprehensive understanding of its principles. At a minimum, a certain number of facts must be retained in order to communicate the Gospel message to others and to teach Christ effectively.

 

But in order for these facts to have power we must be diligent in applying the lessons from the scripture and the preaching of the Word to our own lives. It is critical that we know God, rather than just knowing facts about him. Christ gave us this mission:

 

“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”

-Matthew 10:16

 

This means we should not go forth swinging wildly. We must be wise about how we use the gift of speech, knowing when to speak, what to speak, and who to speak it to. We should not seek a debate every time we want to get our point across. Sometimes it’s more impactful to say very little or nothing at all even when we hear something that is opposite of what we believe to be true. We must choose our battles wisely, and realize that not every battle is one worth fighting. Showing grace and letting words go is often better than engaging in a contentious debate. Consider asking questions instead of forcefully defending a position and consider which method would be more persuasive to you personally.   

 

I always think of Paul’s style of ministering as described in 1 Corinthians 9:

 

I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

(Verses 26-27)

 

Paul controls his God-given knowledge and abilities and brings them into subjection rather than swinging wildly at every opportunity. And perhaps my favorite aspect of Paul’s ministry is his servile approach to all people and his awareness of his audience. Rather than beating people over the head with his opinions, he seeks the good of their souls and tailors his messaging so that the Gospel is effectively communicated.


For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more. And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law; To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law. To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you.

(Verses 19-23)

 

Lastly, we must accept that there are many things that we cannot know and God intended it to be this way. In some Christian circles it is acceptable to have far-out, speculative conversations about giants, aliens, spaceships, and distant galaxies as if the bible was a comic book, but Paul tells us not to do this.

 

But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain.

Titus 3:9

 

As far as the law is concerned, God sent the Christ to take the penalty for our sins and to fulfil all the law, so there is no sense in striving about which parts of it might pertain to us. The answer is all of the law pertains to us in Jesus Chist.


All of the law is fulfilled in one word even in this, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself (Gal 5:14). If we believe this to be true then we must live in the Spirit and also walk in the Spirit (Gal 5:25) rather than keep a tally of how many laws we break verses how many we follow. We know what God’s will is because the law is written in our hearts. And thanks be to God for it.

 

Our goal in communication should be conforming to Christ a little more each day. This means cultivating love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance when we speak (Gal 5:22-23). It means guarding our tongues, choosing our battles wisely, not casting our pearls before swine, offering the other cheek, being merciful to our enemies and especially to our brethren, and crucifying our emotions along with the affections and the lusts.   

 

Every day is another opportunity to apply our knowledge of God. Amen.

 


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